4 more days

I should really be packing now, but all I’ve got so far are my berms inside the luggage. I should really pack my white t-shirts and all the winter stuff since I don’t need to wear them now, along with my full uniform. And jeans too! Mum made me buy jeans yesterday. 

Flight details, 1:25am, SQ, T3! My gut feeling tells me that it will be the biggest contingent of send offs I will ever have. My YA friends, Kamini and Rasyidah  

And…not surprising. this week is filled with lunches and dinners.Had dinner last Sunday with momo, addie and xinyi. Lunch with Rui Ting, Amanda and Syi on Monday and dinner with Vin, Valent, Dave and Kok Siang. Spent thinking day having meeting with the YABC and thursday with Kamini. There will be dinner with Edith, Kleong and Taihou on sat and lunch with Yimin on Sunday and dinner with goh sumo, angeline and shiks that night  

a personal fav of mine,cos it's soo hard to take a picture with him!

<3 these shots with Valent

 

of course, a group shot!

My last[or maybe 2nd last] visit to the kitchen later, I am very curious as to how the kitchen dynamics had changed cos of the new guy. Also, how they are treating him. In truth, I also want to see their faces for the last time, and remember them. I know I will be back come June but 3 months of not disturbing them is too long. I find it funny how attached am I to them now, I remember complaining to Kamini during the first month of internship how much hell they gave me.  And how they kept on haunting my dreams. the magic of 12-14 hours days, especially during Christmas, I guess. 

When you are flying off in 4 days, alot of things, especially food, comes into perspective. The though of seeing snow and wearing layers of clothes excites me, not to mention being exposed to an international team of guides make me feel like a kid in a candy shop. A childhood dream finally coming true. But the though of 3 months of not eating laksa, bak ku teh, bak chor mee, gongcha, koi,mee goreng, nasi lemak and even chicken rice makes me feel like I will be missing out. The thing I will miss most about Singapore IS the food. Another reason why I went back to help out, other than being bored out of my mind, was that, I didn’t want my pastry skills to be rusty! Can’t imagine myself not touching pastry for 3 months too. The money and memories was simply a bonus. Thank you for that great week guys! I will miss the teasing, the stupid jokes, the childish antics and the family-like atmosphere. You’ve shown me what kind of kitchen I want to work in the future

With that, I’m signing off.

Something happened

And I don’t know what it is. Something good happened though. 

It started out when ah rong and I decided to have high-tea at GWP out of the blue. It was an spontaneous thing, since we’ve been talking about forever, but, never got round to doing it. Then we did it the Friday before I started work back at GWP. Ah hao was doing LE and Jia Ching came up for some reason, and knowing GWP, news that I am in LE will be in the kitchen within seconds. True enough, when I visited them afterwards, those lovely people went on and on about me eating all the food in LE.HAHA.up to that point in time, we’ve gotten pretty comfortable with each other, after all the dinners and talks. If there is no teasing, I’m worried. 

What surprised me[and the rest of the crew] the most is how quickly I fall back into the pace of the kitchen. And the speed I did things. For the first time ever, I heard ” wow! soo fast!” from damei, “, “you’ve changed arh, set up buffet soo fast.” from chern shen and “putri! you’ve become more steady after internship” from jessica. Things I never heard them say during those 6 months. But not gonna think too much about those compliments. I still have 3 days to go!

The thing is, it feels different coming back. Also, without the pressure of the logbook and to perform, the fear of Chef and damei evaporated along with it. Doing it for the fun of it, really, nothing else. They scold me less too, so, it helps. And they talk to me in a manner of a friend, less of a subordinate. They scolded me so much that every lesson I’ve learnt is inside my brain[or rather, my hands automatically know what to do] so that helped too. All of it was worth it, right? The credit goes to you guys, actually. 

I would never would have though we would have a major discussion on the new guy coming in on Monday[where my kitchen is dying to play matchmaker] or that damei would play practical jokes on me.And that chicken rice would turn into 1 huge joke. We talk more this week than we talk in 6 months. I’ve went back to my usual place across her like I never left. Everyone rarely gets on my case anymore, with the exception of her. Told you old habits die hard! It’s nice to know that she still care enough to push me. This time round, I know it’s no obligation already cos I’ve finished my internship eons ago. 

I used to just smile when they teased me because I didn’t know what to reply, and chef didn’t like us talking inside the kitchen. Now, I know how to give it right back  Had a major discussion on El Bulli with him and Lynn this morning about  molecular gastronomy. El Bulli, out of all things? Never in my wildest dream. The chicken rice joke. Lynn found out that that canteen was having chicken rice as a lunch special but the muslim kitchen cooked already. Upon hearing the word “chicken rice”, everyone got so excited. Then they asked your truly to pack lunches for them, however, it was already 12:30pm, and I’m content with eating the muslim kitchen’s food since I had to set up LE at 1pm. Damei, not admitting defeat, went ahead and wrote our names on the packet order paper. Then said to me, “Putri, you know you are very important to the kitchen,right?” and I told her, “yea, I know, cos of the chicken rice, right?” then shook my head and took the list from her. Her, being chicken rice obsessed, asked me to ask banquet how many people wanted chicken rice, which made our numbers of packets 11. Here’s the funny thing, she wrote down 3 more names and said, “might as well carry 14 so 7 per plastic bag.” I was too speechless to reply and just started laughing. Oh yes, she also said, in the hope of bribing me, “If you help us dabao, I will help you make a connection with NZ[the new guy studied in NZ] on Monday” and Jia ching added, “Yea, create a Indonesia and NZ tie” then Lynn, “see! we create opportunity for you!” This crew of mine is beginning to sound like a family I never had. 

I’m not just a big fan of chicken rice lah. I’ve eaten it soo many times at camp, that it reminds me OF camp. When our camp budget only had enough money to either buy crappy canteen zhi char or chicken rice, we always went ahead with the cheap $2 chicken rice across MF. Guides camp at school reminds me of TT where me and the rest of the leaders had to fight so many wars with her cos she didn’t listen to our advice. The rest of the crew didn’t have the same memory as me cos they went after it like hungry ghosts. 

I have been doing LE for the past 2 days, and it made me miss shumin, darren, yi ling and nat. I mean, I love my crew like a family, but, I suffered the most with those 4 guys. When everyone else had already gone home, I used to have 1-on-1 chats with yi ling and shu min. Shu min’s “Putri, you very cute leh, why put like this?” had been running in my head whenever I set buffet and Yi Ling’s “I don’t sabo you, so don’t sabo me during LE,okay?” had also been running through my head when I was setting up for LE. Darren’s “Putri, use 2 hands!!” had also been echo-ing in my head. We hate LE the most, but we have the most memories there. Over time, we also had a little system between the 5 of us, which we made sure to tell every little detail for LE when we pass it on the next person. When I wasn’t so close to the crew, I crapped mostly with those guys. Without them, I have no backup, so I’ve got to do what I’ve got do. Which was why I was soo surprised when Lynn stayed back with me yesterday to finish coating the cakes. 

Enough musing for tonight. I wanted to remember these so I wrote them all down. 

Thank you for the great week, guys! 

“Passion is a feeling that tells you: this is the right thing to do. Nothing can stand in my way. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. This feeling is so good that it cannot be ignored. I’m going to follow my bliss and act upon this glorious sensation of joy.”

— Wayne Dyer

food for though!

Note to self

Now I know why not many Asians/Singaporeans did not apply to volunteer at Our Chalet. 

I went hunting around for the jackets/caps/gloves and everything that comes with the winter territory and realized that it is expensive! like $130 for a pair of gloves!!! and $400 for a rainproof jacket! Oh yea, and $50 for a cap! I almost cried! and I haven’t even touched on hiking boots and long johns yet. I would love to buy, but, when I come back, when am I gonna need it again? The good thing I bought my cargo pants already, $200 for 4!

Right now, I feel stuck between the 2 worlds, and I am not comfortable and settled in any of them.  Going to YABC meeting one day, then a crew dinner the next. Not to mention 2 different set of politics, though I don’t really bother about the kitchen one cos I’m not inside there anymore. I like how they will call us to go to crew dinners even though we finished our internship, at least they remember us. Still undecided on YABC, actually, scratch that, YA as a whole. Without Angeline, Shiks, Hawa and Yus, YA will lose it meaning. Everyone of us is focusing on our careers thus YA has taken a backseat. The thing is, YA had been all about them and the things we went through together.So, if I end up being the only 1 who “stay”, what’s the point? I’ve seen soo many people come and go over the past decade,it’s getting tiring. I’m kinda hoping Our Chalet will give me something new to dream about, the world that I’ve known soo far is guiding in Singapore, and little bits of Indonesia and Malaysia. Doing it internationally, night after night, for the next 3 months, is something else. If I ever want to leave guiding, this is something I’ve got to do before I leave, it’s been a dream since Secondary School to go there, and it’s becoming a reality in 23 days.

sometimes, I really wish I can read what is on other people’s minds. To be honest, even though I admired her, I couldn’t quite figure out damei[still can't,btw]. That trashing session was good cos I could understand xiaodi a little better after that. She have that wall that you can’t push through, where anything other than work talk can’t get through. That sounds alot like me.HAHA. 2 stubborn introverts.LOL.how to become friends?  She draws that line very clearly, and its hard to “cross” over to the “friends” side. Actually, I don’t even know what she made out of that long letter of mine. Been constantly asking myself whether it was worth it to stay up night after night during the christmas period writing out my thoughts to them.

Ahh well, there is still that 10 days of airshow to ask them, yeah? since I never asked all the questions[personal or otherwise] I wanted to ask, let’s bomb it during the airshow period. I am anticipating the buzz in the kitchen, the music, the jokes and the food. The “sparring” of “Ahh!!!” in the kitchen with chern shen[come to think of it, that was what got us talking], damei’s nagging[old habits die hard, and she haven't work with me in a long time too so 99.9% bound to nag] and Jia Ching’s lame jokes. music to my ears. 

the kids

why I love guiding…

Today, Edith and I were walking around toa payoh, cos we just finished dinner and had nothing to do. While we were walking, we saw 1 of my camp kids, who is in CJ now[At times like this, I really feel old] and she recognized me! And remember my name.hehe. The thing is, I can’t remember her name, only her face. 

And, the last time I saw her, was in 2009/2010? Cos my last back-to-back camps was in 2009. Its pretty heartwarming, to have someone remember you years after the camp. It means that I did something right. And, the kids, who are not so small anymore, are still darn worth it.

28 days

more specifically, 28 long days. the days seem to crawl by at a snail’s pace at the rate that I am going. and knowing myself, I will probably find myself going back to the kitchen “for a visit” at least once a week. Truth is, I go back so that I wouldn’t lose touch and to feel that buzz. Purely selfish reasons.haha. 

Which was what happened last Saturday, on the pretext of bringing the barang barang from Jakarta and teasing them with oranges[I was thinking, since it's CNY, I will bring just for the fun of it], I somehow managed to stay from 4pm to 12:30mn. And got a few[surprise!]hongbaos too! 2nd home? Looking very much so, since guiding lost a little of that magic when I was gone. 

First up, the hongbaos. 

from chef, jessica and chern shen

Somehow, these are way more precious than the ones I got back home.  Maybe cos they are unexpected and I am closer to the kitchen people. 

I hung out at the kitchen, and found myself helping shu min and nat out[I was trained not to be idle in the kitchen, in whites or not, so gradually, it became a reflex] with the crunchy. Afterwards, xiaodi, shumin and I went out for dinner and started our 5 hours conversation. I guess none of us expected it to be that long, but it was 4 months’ worth of conversation. And xiaodi gentlemanly treated us to dinner As always, thank you, Mr You!

the receipt which isn't a receipt.LMAO.

And for the first time, I was very honest with him. Maybe it was due to the fact that the only person returning back to the kitchen the next day was xiaodi so there wasn’t much to worry about. I asked the questions that I’ve always wanted to ask[but never had the time to] and I understood a little bit more about why he did the things he did. The reasoning behind his actions. And I like that he has the same philosophy as me;a person of a certain rank don’t need to know the troubles of a person of a higher rank till he/she reaches it. Cos I do that with my kids too, till they are sec 3, they shouldn’t need to worry about running the company.

That being said, I am grateful that I parted on good terms with the kitchen. That I can still come back and not feel uneasy. After what happened, I finally could understand why they kept a certain distance from us. Not that the agony was any lesser.

Trashing things out that night, we needed that, and we needed to hear things too.  It left shumin and I with food for though, and a much deeper appreciation for xiaodi. Now, if only I can do that with damei. Cos she was the other one who kept me confused all the way to the end. To have that kinda conversation will allow her to understand things from my POV and vice versa. And to clarify and ask the questions I’ve always wanted to ask her. Telling her that we[all the trainees]can practically count down to the last second when she will shout “what time is it already? still not setting lunch/high tea/dinner buffet?” Now, that conversation will be at least 5 hours long.haha

Flying in 32 days!

For this one, I am counting down

but before that, the pictures are all gone  so, I am going back on Saturday and take with everyone again[of all the days, damei must go back to sarawak now!! argh!!! It's okay, will take with her during the Singapore Airshow period] cos I know I will regret it if I don’t do it. Not to mention the fact that it had been haunting me during the past few days. And will take some more during the time I come back to help out for Singapore Airshow I will miss those guys cos it is my first kitchen, and they’ve taught me tons of things. Hopefully, I can go back and work someday.

SWITZERLAND!!! more specifically, OUR CHALET, OEY, ADELBODEN!!! I am excited!!! So, there are the 6 of us, Stefanie and Carly are from the US, Eve and Rachael from UK and Karin is from Sweden. And they’ve sent us the 5 weeks countdown e-mail, which I only received when I got back from Jakarta. I was like, 5 weeks? soo fast meh? We’ve done things the modern ways and added each other on fb, to talk and stalk before meeting in person at the end of February. On the other hand, my packing list is growing by the day. And being[almost]Singaporean, I am very kiasu, packing everything! But the thing is, in the e-mail, they say to pack light and smart. but how?? I’ve got lots of food to bring over[I need all the keropok, sambal and chilli I can get my hands on] and about a million other things, like sleeping bag and all that winter wear[which I either need to borrow or dig out from somewhere, someplace in my house]. Looking at it, I maybe the only one who needs to borrow stuff cos the rest come from countries with 4 seasons and they will have their winter gears.

On the “to-do” list that Val gave me, I’m only left with my travel insurance,German phases and the itinerary. But knowing her, it’s only part 1, there is still lots to do. Like, buying the badges and souvenirs for SWAPs[and I think I can get some stuff from Ms J for that.haha]. Thank god the whole gang +Yimin is helping me! Cos they went to Our Chalet before so they are the right people to be bombed with questions with!

Anyhow, February will zoom by[hopefully] with Singapore Airshow[ 1 week back in kitchen! AWESOME!], YABC meetings and YA induction&ROP. And before you know it, I AM OFF!!! to an adventure of a lifetime  

You know they say travel as much, and as far away as you can while you are young? that’s what I am doing. 

Of course, I will be doing pastry “research” while I am over there. If only I can continue on staying and finding a job as a pastry commis cook there. Totally wouldn’t mind

off to bed! almost 5am! ahh!!!

Words I though I will never hear again

“darren! your girlfriend is on the phone!” and ” come! $5!” . This, my friend, is from the pastry kitchen of Marriot. But they are soo familiar cos at some point of time, Lynn and Chern Shen had said those words to me. haha. and hearing it in the Marriot kitchen made me wanna laugh. 2nd day inside the kitchen and we stamped out the tart shell dough and roll the pineapple filling. Figured out there wasn’t any harm in asking questions and I found out what temperature it needs to be baked in and for how long(Let me put it this way, the GWP kitchen culture forces you to ask questions aka being a KPO).haha. now time to find out the pineapple filling recipe! hahaha. and the thickness of the dough(I am guessing its 7mm, driving me crazy not knowing the exact thickness).Oh yea, I met my primary and secondary school junior, who is intern-ing at Marriot now(she’s in culinary), can’t believe that she’s in this line too!

And somehow, I found myself walking back to GWP after work. I don’t know, for some odd reason, I don’t want to forget their faces. Also, for some funny reason, I almost got emo but there was also this feeling of happiness and delight when I saw them. And relief. Maybe cos Marriot is a strange place so going back to GWP is like going back to home base. There was the usual “wah! you very free arh!” coming from damei and “what are you doing now?” coming from the rest. Told them about the pineapple tarts and lo and behold! Jessica used to work there for 7 years before moving to GWP and she knows Richard(Marriot’s CDP, who happens to be indon)! gosh!such a small world! Now I know why Chef lynn say that the singapore pastry world is small. And she ask me to say hi to him for her on Sunday.LOL. But the most amazing thing is that, Chef ask me to come back[and I think Nat and Shumin too] to come back and help out during the Singapore airshow[so had to reject the service side] cos at that time, there will be no more trainees. I was WHAT? cos in his eyes, I have alot to improve on and he still want me to come back.

But still, an amazing day. And my heart is at ease knowing those guys are still well.

They couldn’t save my hard disk. So, I got to get it back and ask Kamini’s Brother-in-Law to extract those pictures out of the hard disk. that is, if the HP people haven’t throw it yet. ARGH! why can’t my mum tell me that they called and tell them to keep the old hard disk? Is it that difficult?? Yes, I am a stubborn person cos all my GWP pictures are all inside there. If they throw it away, my memories are also gone. NO!!!! And it will all be my mum’s fault.

On a much brighter note, I went to help ah rong out at Marriot cos they needed to finish 3K worth of pineapple tarts. Their dressing rooms, recreation rooms and dining area were all much better than GWP but I like my kitchen more. hehe. Cos we have bigger tables, more ovens and bigger chiller + freezer. Not to mention having the durian kitchen as back-up space over the off season. All I did today was stamping out the pineapple tart shells. And it reminded me alot of doing the HSBC cookies. But in my opinion, I think the HSBC cookies are much more harder cos the shape have to be perfect[or you will get screamed at, like I did]. 2 people scope out the pineapple filling and shape it into a ball and 2 people did the stamping. Then I remembered Jessica’s advice on people showing you a way to do things, then from there, find a way to do things which you think is the most efficient for you. man, that definitely helped! I guess that 6 months of nagging, screaming and scolding from my GWP pastry crew wasn’t for nothing[I can imagine them saying, of course!]. hahaha. And I think I am turning into them[which is a good thing, btw]  in the case of doing this efficiently. Working in Marriot’s kitchen makes me miss GWP alot,in terms of kitchen and people. Also, make me extremely grateful for everything that I had. There is nothing like a little perspective to make you feel grateful.

Reflections

I’ve never actually stopped thinking about the kitchen since I left.i’ve missed the ungodly hours,the lifestyle and most importantly,the people.and it’s only a week! Can you believe it! I am soo scared that I will forget how to glaze a cake,make strawberry shortcake,cut cakes and handle mass production once I come back from Switzerland.

But,I’ve been thinking about my dear swimming pool(shumin),nat,lynn,damei,xiaodi,chern shen,jessica,chef alvin and jia ching. I miss listening to their crap nonsense and singing early in the morning. I miss the good food we have for lunch(most of the time),the food that Lynn manages to kapok from GG,our mee hoon kueh and our late night dinners of instant noodles.

On reflection,our kitchen is like a “family” kitchen,cos there is soo little of us.so,everyone is mainly on good terms.and they treat trainees like their “kids”.which result in them treating us in almost all our kitchen dinners.its their way of taking care of us.haha.and I think they feel bad about our measly pay too.hahaha.

Having nothing to do for the past week had given me alot of time to think.for now,it’s feels that I am neither here nor there.not in touch with the kitchen or the guiding world.and there were numerous times I wanted to put on my whites and get back into the GWP pastry kitchen.or maybe not hearing damei nag at me makes me feel uncomfortable.hahaha.

It had won over my heart gradually.but having spent at least 12 hours a day,6 days a week,for the past 6 months,how could it not? My crew like to joke that we spend more time with them than their families.And it’s true.Especially over that Christmas week.the reason why I will never forget Christmas 2011 and the week leading up to that for the rest of my life.

You can never go back to a “normal” life after spending 6 months inside a kitchen.the things that bothered you the most in the beginning are the things that you’ve grown used to as part of your life.like working on weekends and PHs.